jay-jinxed-me:

tomysshadow:

sirchubbybunny:

jdeko:

waka-the-gods-gift-to-man:

leolion98:

kittensinsocks24:

A series of fake numbers to leave behind.

1-888-447-5594 - Easter egg number for finishing God of War, contains a dramatic speech. Personal favorite.

605-475-6968 - Rejection hotline, politely explains that whoever gave you this number turned ya down, buddy

888-276-6760 - The 24-hour Klu Klux Klanline where you can get a FREE INFORMATION BOOKLET!!!!1!

866-740-4531 - Only responds with “I am Groot”

206-569-5829 - Seattle radio station “Loser Line”. If they leave a weird voicemail, it could get broadcast over the airwaves.

Stay safe, people.

Don’t forget about 515-808-2362, the number that rings and then plays the John Cena thing.

309-889-0497 plays the evangelation theme

Evangelation

There’s also 855-523-9386 which will respond to the caller with a robot beat boxing Korn’s “Freak on a Leash”.

Who knew so many weird almost useless phone numbers existed?

This is wonderful

(via communistbakery-deactivated2017)

cunningcelt:

marcel-wolfgang:

errything-arcen:

gearheadguy:

g0dziiia:

puros-besos:

I already lost 5 followers. Ya era tiempo de sacar la basura 😌

Please and thank you

Please unfollow me now

Unfollow me too

Can definitely excuse yourself

Trump supporters be gone!

(via queerandprochoice)

wyomingsmustache:

steel-dragon:

lolrider:

faedex:

spitandvinegar:

New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up

- that man really salts my melon!

- you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken

- a louse will live on any head it lands on

- don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows

- there’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big

- like digging a pond and hoping for ducks

This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a southerner, these still make sense.

its weird these don’t mean anything but you can still kind of intuit what they would mean if they were things people actually said.

@lexicalpsychopathy I literally can’t help but picture you saying all of these

That man really salts my melon: Salt is actually frequently added to melons around here, so someone who salted your melon would be doing you a favor, or make something more appealing. Even though the framing presents it as a negative thing, so maybe you’d use it for someone who annoys you by doing you a favor.

It takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken: Even if something might seem like a small ask, over time it might add up. A single chicken might eat a small amount of corn in a single day, but over time you’ll find you’ve bought lots of corn. Therefore, something that seems miniscule may in fact be a large commitment.

A louse will live on any head in lands on: Everyone can suffer through bad times and ill luck, regardless of their lot in life. (ie, anyone can suffer from depression, even if they haven’t got it “bad enough”)

Don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows: There are multiple possible meanings for this. My favorite is don’t take time fixing a problem you don’t even have, ie, if you don’t have cows, you don’t have the problem of your cows needing a salt lick.

There’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big: Don’t blame circumstances for a problem of your own creation.

Like digging a pond and hoping for ducks: Don’t just hope something will turn out after one step, actually follow through all of them. Your pond could attract ducks, sure, or you could just go get ducks to live in your pond.

Seriously, every single one of these nonsenses you just made up follow a certain internal logic and make perfect sense.

(via gladiolus---amicitia)

I haven’t been doing a very good job of keeping you all updated. I passed 500 followers a while ago; I’m almost up to 550 now. Thank you all so much!

Since I’ve been off of Tumblr, I’ve brought my baby home. His name is Foster, and he’s a 21 year old Goffin Cockatoo. (That means he’s older than me!) You can see him in my icon and header photo. He’s bright white with peach by his eyes, the lid skins of which are blue, and he’s got yellow under his wings and tail. He’s potty trained, and he mimics words and phrases that change all the time rather than learning and memorizing words and phrases. He has only memorized three things:

-“You wanna go night-night?” This means that he wishes to be returned to his cage, because he has to go potty or he is feeling over-stimulated or scared.
-If you knock loudly on a hard surface four times, he yells “HELLO!”
-He says “You’re a pretty bird”/“Pretty bird” to me only. Others have tried and failed; he only says it when we appear to be alone, but my family has heard him from other rooms.

I am trying to get him to mimic and eventually memorize “I love you.”

Other than that, I’ve shuffled through a few miscellaneous jobs and I’m looking for full-time work right now. I can’t go to school this year unless I pay for it out of pocket, because my parents refused to give me the tax information that I needed for my FAFSA. Unfortunately, working full-time will mean that I will be away from Foster a lot, but it won’t matter if I work in the evenings or overnight, when he is sleeping or wishes to be left alone anyways.

The reason I adopted Foster is that he is in training to become an Emotional Support Animal. Parrots cannot be registered service animals, which I think is just dumb since they are smarter than dogs, and can be trained to do more with specific disabilities such as PTSD, which is what I have been diagnosed with. Any time he is around me, he calms me, and even if I do have a panic attack, he knows how to talk me out of it and pull me back to reality. Sometimes he even nips gently at my fingers if he’s close to them, which grounds me. The calming effect that he has on me certainly doesn’t hurt with treating my bipolar disorder, either!

Anyways, the process of possibly prescribing me an ESA would be about $160, which guarantees you an online quiz and two hour-long phone/Skype calls with a licensed psychiatrist. Even then, they could deny me the letter that I need to carry with me. If they don’t, and I’m prescribed an official ESA, then it’s another $65+ to register Foster within the system and get him another badge.

I’m not asking for money, I’m just complaining about how the system basically takes advantage of the mentally disabled people in America, and possibly other places. That’s how it is here.

Sorry for rambling. Thanks for reading this far!

To celebrate 500+ followers, I’ll be doing a very small giveaway – a bag of super soft Foster feathers that he loses naturally! Foster is the softest bird that I have ever felt, and I’ve been around birds since I was a toddler. Use them in your hair, art projects, just to touch, give them to small children, doesn’t matter to me at all! You must be okay with sharing your address or PO box with me to enter. Reblog to do so! I’ll be choosing a winner on the first of August. Ready? Go! 😄

zeauxlouizianalaureate:

ramentic:

voltisubito:

marquesadesantos:

aboonoor:

If you’re a Non-Muslim and you see a Muslim praying in public, could you please not pass in front of them?

Go behind them, but not in front. 👍

Oh, signal boost! I didn’t know this.

Okay, but also: if you see a Muslim praying in public and they have something in front of them, like a purse or a bag or something like that, you can pass in front of them, but pass in front of that object.

it’s called a sutrah, and it’s meant to act as a physical barrier between the person praying and someone who might happen to pass in front.

Also, if you did this and didn’t know, please don’t beat yourself up over it. Now you know! Muslims aren’t supposed to pass in front of Muslims praying, either, because prayer is communication with God and you don’t want to break that connection.

Spread culture, respect customs, be good people. Simple as that.

(via babyvagabond-deactivated2023020)